“If I die, I die”

“If I die, I die,” I said and shrugged. I actually said that. It haunts me now to look back and remember that I said that about covid with a completely flippant attitude.

That was back in either February or Early March. Back when we were just starting to hear about the disease. I thought it was going to be like the outbreaks of the past. Everyone freaks out about it but it really isn’t that big of a deal.

I was wrong.

But, once I started learning about how serious the virus actually was, I changed my mind and changed my tune.

I started advocating for staying home and wearing a mask.

There was still so much that I didn’t know, though. Not until I was sick myself. I didn’t understand the severity or the sheer amount of symptoms you can have.

I didn’t understand that they can slowly accumulate.

I didn’t understand how even a mild case can make you miserable. And I definitely didn’t know about the potential long-term effects.

I had started to hear a little bit about long-covid. But, I still didn’t really understand until it happened to me.

Now here I am, desperately trying to share my story in the hopes that it can stop at least one person from being like me.

But, there are still people out there saying the same misguided thing I said so very many months ago: “If I die, I die.”

First off, we now know that it’s not just dying that you are risking. You are risking never getting better and having a million and one complications.

Second, it’s not just you that you endanger. You endanger every other person that you come in contact with. For example, my friend who I previously wrote about (see post). She is lucky to be alive, only recently was able to leave ICU, and is currently relearning how to walk.

There are also a lot of misguided religious people out there who believe that they don’t need to take precautions because the lord will protect them.

They believe they are showing faith. But, what they are really doing is testing God like King Herod or the pharisees tested Jesus.

God is already giving you answers. You’re not taking them.

It reminds me of the old joke about the preacher and the two boats and the helicopter. I reproduced it below.

A storm descends on a small town and the downpour soon turns into a flood. As the waters rise, the local preacher kneels in prayer on the church porch, surrounded by water. By and by, one of the townsfolk comes up the street in a canoe.

“Better get in, Preacher. The waters are rising fast.”

“No,” says the preacher. “I have faith in the Lord. He will save me.”

Still the waters rise. Now the preacher is up on the balcony, wringing his hands in supplication, when another guy zips up in a motorboat.

“Come on, Preacher. We need to get you out of here. The levee’s gonna break any minute.”

Once again, the preacher is unmoved. “I shall remain. The Lord will see me through.”

After a while the levee breaks, and the flood rushes over the church until only the steeple remains above water. The preacher is up there, clinging to the cross, when a helicopter descends out of the clouds, and a state trooper calls down to him through a megaphone.

“Grab the ladder, Preacher. This is your last chance.”

Once again, the preacher insists the Lord will deliver him.

And, predictably, he drowns.

A pious man, the preacher goes to heaven. After a while he gets an interview with God, and he asks the Almighty, “Lord, I had unwavering faith in you. Why didn’t you deliver me from that flood?”

God shakes his head. “What did you want from me? I sent you two boats and a helicopter.”

It’s a joke. But it is also like a parable.

When God presents us with an answer, we shouldn’t reject it just because it didn’t come in the form that we expected.

This is true especially when that rejection harms others.

Once again, a loved one of mine is sick because someone else didn’t stay home when they were sick.

I’m not trying to shame people. I’m not pretending to be a religious expert or “holier than thou.”

I’m just hoping to open the eyes of someone else just like my eyes had to be opened. In the hopes that maybe your words won’t end up haunting you like mine do.

#covid #longhauler #spirituality #longcovid #religion