Why are some of us not talking

A few weeks ago, I was talking with my parents. My father told me that he had mentioned my struggle with covid and long-covid in his deaconate class and that his professor had stated that his daughter was also struggling with long-covid. This caused my parents and me to start pondering why it is that some people don’t feel comfortable sharing that they have or had the disease.

A day later, a person on my survivor group mentioned that she had stopped sharing that she was sick. I decided to ask my survivor group why they stopped sharing. The answers I received were eye-opening and heart-breaking.

One response was so powerful, I felt that it deserved to be repeated verbatim. To see that post, please click here.

To view the answers of other survivors, please check out my gallery where I have gathered snippets. I summarized some of the most common responses below.

People Don’t Believe Me. The most common and heartbreaking response I received was that due to the politicization of coronavirus and the rampant spreading of false information about the disease, a lot of covid sufferers aren’t believed by their own friends and family. They either think that they couldn’t possibly be as sick as they are for as long as they are or that they must have done something incredibly reckless to catch it. The truth is that most of us took precautions and were infected at a place or by a person who didn’t.

What this means is that many covid-sufferers are in a position where they are sick, alone, and battling with doctors and people that they had considered to be loved ones and friends. They are fighting against people who call them liars, deny their pain, and deny their existence. And eventually, it becomes too much to take. So, they stop talking altogether.

People Don’t Want to Listen. Another common answer that I received is that people didn’t really want to hear what sufferers had to say. It’s too painful to talk about. People want to just return to their lives. But, what has happened to us is real. The long-term effects are real and trying to tune it out and pretend like it doesn’t exist is to tell a person that you’re not willing to hear their pain.

I Worry About My Livelihood and The Livelihood of My Family. The other result of rampant misinformation is that many people misunderstand quarantine and exposure. Many people mentioned that even after properly quarantining, they were still being treated like pariahs.

A few answers I received mentioned that they were afraid to share because family members who hadn’t been exposed were being told to quarantine after posting about the covid sufferer.

And worse, in cases where workplace exposure is involved, sufferers fear they will lose their job if they talk about it.

It’s Too Painful. A lot of people also didn’t want to share because it hurts. Many of the experiences that sufferers have been through are deeply traumatizing. This is true most especially if you were hospitalized. But, it also hurts to tell people that you’re still sick. It hurts to worry about how sad and scared your friends and family are for you and to only be able to say so much or do so much to comfort them because you just don’t have the answers. It hurts to only have so much energy to even extend to talking to friends and family. And again, it hurts even more when you also have to spend time having to prove to someone who doesn’t believe you that you are still sick.

#covid #longcovid #longhauler #voicesofthevirus